Difficult Conversations Podcast
Lessons I Learned as an ICU Physician
Episode 115 | October 27, 2020
Conversations with your Inner.U
Co-Founder & Vice-Chairman, The Handel Group
Welcome to the Difficult Conversations – Lessons I Learned as an ICU Physician with Dr. Anthony Orsini. Today, my special guest is Beth Weissenberger, Co-Founder of the Handel Group, a renowned corporate consulting and life coaching company, dedicated to teaching people how to realize their personal and professional visions. Their straightforward and innovative method has changed the lives of thousands of private and corporate clients and has been taught in over fifty educational programs and institutes of learning. Beth has twenty years of experience coaching thousands of the most senior executives and is not only a masterful coach, but also leads corporate seminars on a variety of topics that are fused with energy, transparency, and inspiring personal stories.
Beth tells us all about the Handel Group, what she does, and how it started. She mentions a book called, Maybe It’s You, that her sister Lauren wrote. She shares a story about the point in her life that made her want to change. Beth talks about what the Handel Method and how it is useful in different areas such as corporate, individuals, and athletes. Beth explains “being the author of your life.” We find out about the Chicken and the Brat and something Dr. David Hawkins found out about human beings inner dialogue. Beth explains the Three Inner Dialogues (Voices) and Dr. Orsini shares his “Chicken” with us. There are three things Beth tells us we need to live true to your dreams and what you want in life and they are: specific measurable promise, a consequence, and someone to hold you accountable. We find out all about the different types of Inner U, which is an online coaching program. If you’re looking to radically change your life in six months, Beth is offering a coupon code to get half off at Inner.U Career using the code “DIFFICULTCONVERSATIONS.” We all have our dark side, bad traits, and things that don’t work for us, so Beth tells us she likes to have people ask two questions to their spouses, partners, and children, and they are, “What sucks about me and When I do that how does it make you feel?” She gives a great example of something that happened to her with her daughter.
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Beth Weissenberger (1s):
Your chicken and brat and weather reporter are not on your team, their entire life is about getting in your way.
Their entire life is about you not having what you want. Their job is to mess you up and they are not going
away. They are your board members. They are yours. You should meet them and have fun with them
because they talk constantly.
Welcome to Difficult Conversations: Lessons I Learned as an ICU Physician with Dr. Anthony Orsini. Dr.
Orsini is a practicing physician and the President and CEO of the Orsini Way. As a frequent keynote speaker
and author Dr Orsini has been training healthcare professionals and business leaders how to navigate
through the most difficult dialogues. Each week, you will hear inspiring interviews with experts in their field
who tell their story and provide practical advice on how to effectively communicate. Whether you are a
doctor are faced with giving a patient bad news, a business leader who wants to get the most out of his or
her team members or someone who just wants to learn to communicate better this is the podcast for you.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (1m 13s):
Well, Welcome to another episode of Difficult Conversations Lessons I learned as an ICU Physician. This is
Dr. Anthony Orsini and I’ll be your host. Again, today, today you are in for a special treat. I am very excited to
have, as my guest Beth Weissenberger. Beth is the co-founder and President of the Handel group. The
Handel group is a renowned corporate consulting and life coaching company dedicated to teaching people
how to realize their personal and professional visions. Their straightforward and innovative method has
changed the lives of thousands of private and corporate clients, and has been taught in over 50 educational
programs and institutes of learning, including MIT and Stanford graduate school of business.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (1m 53s):
Beth has developed the Handel group into a multi-platform company, comprised of a corporate, private
coaching ,education sport and product divisions. They Handel Group not only offers live coaching, but a
digital platform interview for a professional athletes, individuals and students. With her 20 years of
experience, coaching thousands of the most senior executives that is not only a masterful coach, but it also
leads corporate seminars in her signature mince no words style on a variety of topics that are fused with
energy, transparency and inspiring personal stories. Beth, thanks for being here today.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (2m 34s):
Really looking forward to this, you and I have met, I guess, about a month ago, we met through Claude
Silver of VaynerMedia and spoke to you for about five minutes. We had instant rapport. I knew this was
going to be an awesome interview. So I immediately booked you and I know you’re busy. So thanks again for
being here. So I really wanted to get into your coaching and your method. I’m just find it so fascinating that
I’ve done my homework, that I want my audience to about it. So let’s just start off slowly by just telling us
about the Handel group, what you do and how it started.
Beth Weissenberger (3m 8s):
For sure. 16 years ago, my youngest sister and I, so there’s four children in the Handel family. We named
the company after my dad he’s our lawyer, but he has been for 16 years and you know, we paid them
nothing, but we gave him the name of the company. So 16 years ago, my youngest sister Lauren and I had
decided we were both coaches and she is a genius who invented our Handel Method and then I’m a builder.
And we said, all right, why don’t we do this? Your genius, let me build you and let’s give it a shot. We gave it
a year. Cause we, at the time, 16 years ago, executive life coaching was not like a thing. The first comment
it was, are you a doctor or are you a therapist?
Beth Weissenberger (3m 48s):
And we’re like, no we’re coaches, but we hit it out of the park. And now 16 years later we’re the largest
executive life-coaching company and we have about 70 people who work for us and we have a ball. So that
is how it started. Lauren is my boss, even though she’s 11 years younger, she really is that genius. She is
the chairman. She’s now working in Handel group inventing two new divisions to new pieces of work and I’m
running the company, but that girl is still my boss.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (4m 19s):
And Lauren wrote a book recently, which I read. It’s an awesome book.
Beth Weissenberger (4m 23s):
So my other sister morning, Marnie Nir is an executive at Handel Group. She is our Chief Content Officer
and our writer. And so she and Lauren wrote the book “Maybe it’s you”.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (4m 33s):
I love that topic. And I read it. It’s an easy read and we will reference it on the show notes. So that’s great.
Now, one of the things I do a lot of coaching, as you know, I do a lot of seminars myself, all in the health
care area, although we are doing some work on business and HR, one of the things that I think really helps
me when I teach physicians is that I speak from experience. And I’ve seen some of your seminars. I’ve seen
you on the internet. You can tell some great stories about yourself, but this is not stuff that you can’t relate to
because when Lauren contacted you, you were at a point in your life also that made you want to change?
Beth Weissenberger (5m 8s):
Yeah, I actually called Lauren, so Lauren remember is 11 years younger. So yeah, I was out of the house
when she was growing up. And so I’m now living in Laguna beach, I’m married to my second husband. So
you can hear yes, jerky genius in business jerky in love the story. It took me to divorces and I live with the
third man who then cheated on me. So it took all of that until I was 59 years old to finally get Love. Both
sisters have to coach me. I’m 61 now in madly in love with the final man, amen. But yes. So I called her
because at the time I was married and I was in a job where I was the head of sales of a management
consulting firm had just had the best year they’d ever had an 18 years.
Beth Weissenberger (5m 52s):
And this is my second year there I was bored out of my mind was not it wasn’t turning me on. I didn’t love
living and sorry those of you who are in California, I didn’t Love Laguna beach. I’m a new Yorker. And max,
our daughter who’s now 19 was about two and I’m like, Oh, Lauren help and I have never called her as like a
coach right? Because you know, I was the coach and in two 20 minute conversations, she literally altered my
life. And that’s when I got, who are you? How much do you charge? My boss charges is 600. And isn’t even
close to who you are charging a hundred dollars? And I was like, Oh, okay. And so I left New York. She had
got me a job that didn’t turn out.
Beth Weissenberger (6m 33s):
I turned her and said, let’s go. And that’s how it started. 16 years ago, August, 2004.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (6m 38s):
And it just gets better and better and better. Let’s get into the Handel method. But one of the things that I
wanted to ask you first is, you know, the premise of this whole podcast is that how we communicate
effectively and with compassion that if we can learn to do that, it will not only help us in medicine and
business, but also in our personal lives. And what I found throughout the years is that it’s the same
communication techniques that I use for telling someone, sadly, that their baby died. It’s the same
communication techniques that can help someone else in business, but also help us in our lives. And so
there’s so much overlap. And one of the great things about doing this podcast is that one week I have
business one week I have health care and you see the overlap is just, people are seeing the same thing,
building trust, building loyalty.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (7m 26s):
I noticed that the Handel group does a lot of different areas. So you do corporate, you do individual, you do
athletes. Is there a common thread that, that works? And is there a special kind of approach that you have to
take with each person?
Beth Weissenberger (7m 40s):
And the Handel Method is the Method no matter what. So Whether, you know, you’re a, Chicken, whether
you’re an NFL player or your a CEO, you’re a brat, whether your, a student or whether your, a mother
staying home with your kids. So our method of Chicken Brat, weather reporter for instance, which I’m sure
we’ll get into or how to have a hard conversation. It’s the same method. Whether I’m teaching a student at,
Stanford or NYU or a Fordham, or you are listening to InnerU student or InnerU love the method is the
method. And as a coach, all of our coaches have to be responsible for. Okay. In fact, we just got off a
recording with Nolan Carol who played for the NFL.
Beth Weissenberger (8m 25s):
His last team was the Dallas Cowboys for eight years. And I coached him and he has built himself. What I
like to call into who he is now and his empire and created himself and took them from hell because they
retired him. But they took on there. But knowing as an NFL player, there’s things you have to know about
that that are different than if I’m speaking with, you know, the CMO of a public company. Right. But I’ll use
the Method, but just frame it for the athlete or the student or the CEO hard conversations are hard
conversations. Whether I’m about to have a hard conversation with my boss or I’m about to have one with
Dr. Anthony Orsini (9m 7s):
Yep. And that’s exactly right. And it’s amazing once you learn how to have those hard conversations, it really
doesn’t matter. What do you approach them differently? I find that when I’m coaching physicians and I can
say it because I’m a physician that, you know, sometimes we have egos and a, if you’re coaching CEO’s
they have egos. Now, if you have a different coaching method, you are very no-nonsense, but you still
probably need to approach that differently. I would imagine correct? when you’re doing an athlete or a CEO?
Beth Weissenberger (9m 39s):
There’s the need being accountable for who I’m sitting in front of whether a zoom session or back before the
pandemic with them. Right. So there’s, and there’s industry’s, there are different. So one of our large clients
that we’re on hold with right now, we have a joint venture with live nation. That’s the music industry, the
music industry is different than the insurance industry, right? So there’s industries, there’s humans, there’s,
you know, your age and where you’re at in your, you know, development is a human. So everything has to
be taken into account, but I’m going to still call you a Chicken Brat or weather reporter with you’re in your
way of your own dream. You’re dream at this time. in your life Dr is probably different than if I’m speaking to
obviously a 30 year old and their dreams.
Beth Weissenberger (10m 23s):
But your dream is just as important to you as the 30 year old. And then what’s in your way could be any one
of the 10 things that are in an NFL player’s way.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (10m 34s):
Right. I get it.
Beth Weissenberger (10m 35s):
To teach someone to human better, which is, you know, we call it a burden to human better. Our method is
the same. We just are responsible for who were speaking with.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (10m 45s):
Yeah. And things interlay so well, the audience right now is going, what’s the chicken. And what’s the Brat I
know because I know you, so there we are going to get to that. But before I have one more question, can
you talk about being the author of your life? Because I think that leads into chicken and Brat very nicely.
What do you mean by that? Because I think it’s really impactful.
Beth Weissenberger (11m 2s):
For sure. When you take a look at your life, any area of your life, where you are happy, you are proud and
you’re effective. You can say your being the author, you’re in charge. You have the pen in your hand or the
iPad. Your saying, here’s what I want. Here’s how it’s going to go. And you authored that result. So when
you’re an author, how do you know you’re an author in the area of your body or your health or your marriage
are your children? How, you know, you’re an author, you’re happy, you’re proud. And you’re effective. If you
are not happy with your body, you are not being an author. If you are not happy with where you are in your
career, you are not being an author.
Beth Weissenberger (11m 45s):
So there are areas of your life where you are absolutely being an author. We don’t touch those because
you’re living inside of your dream, what you want, you know, what you want. And you’re out to it. I know
matter what the universe gives you. You are going to figure out a way to stay the author and make it happen.
That we identify. Because then it’s so funny because then I go, all right, Tony, you’re an author here. Why
aren’t you being an author over here? Right. So it’s, it becomes real evident like, OK, you’re in charge here.
And they’re not here. Who is really running the show here. Because author means your running the show.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (12m 21s):
And I think that one of the most difficult conversations we all have is with ourselves. And that’s basically what
you do. You facilitate the conversations that we have with ourselves, correct. That’s really what it’s all about.
Beth Weissenberger (12m 33s):
Who do you have to speak to? You know, Nolan was recording and he was speaking about his NFL coaches
and he’s like, they always say, get out of your, Way get out of your way. He said, for years, I was like, I am
out of my way. What are they talking about? But when he started to get coached by me, he got that what
was in his way was himself in his own head.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (12m 53s):
And that’s where we lean into the chicken and the Brat. So tell us about that. What I really liked about
learning about what you do with the Handel method is that you simplify things so much, that you’re exactly
right. You get out of your own way. I did it myself. I did the Chicken and the Brat myself. And it makes you
think Clearly, it really does. Tell us more about the chicken and the Brat.
Beth Weissenberger (13m 14s):
Let me give a little context and then I’ll back into it. So the question becomes what’s the source of results.
And most people will answer that the source of any result that you have in your life or don’t have is because
you’re either taking the actions or you’re not, you’re taking the right actions, your being effective with your
actions, it’s all action based. So if you say, OK, what’s the source of results. You’re going to go, Oh, I made
an action and people really do think it’s action. But if you’re dealing with an area where let’s just say in
COVID you gain 15 pounds, right. With as many people have, you know, you’re sitting at home today and
you’ve gained the 15, you will then say, so if I go alright stop it stop eating those french fries, stop snacking
all day he’ll be like, yeah, yeah, that’s right.
Beth Weissenberger (14m 0s):
That’s right. That will not stop you for eating just because you know, to stop. So actions are not the source of
results. The source of all your results is your inner dialog, your thoughts are, and you might have just said to
yourself what inner dialog. Yeah. That voice that just said that, that your inner dialog and Dr. David Hawkins
years ago, did a study of human beings inner dialog. And what he discovered is that 80% of a human being’s
inner dialogue is negative, not surprising at all. So 80% of your thoughts are negative, which gives you your
actions and gives you your results. And then wait, one more statistic.
Beth Weissenberger (14m 43s):
95% of the 80%. That’s negative is the same crap you thought the day before. That, when I was looking in
the mirror, I’m like, Oh my God, I’m falling down. Do you think that I have a different thought tomorrow, look
in the mirror tomorrow, it’s falling. Right? So it’s the same, Crap 80% negative. So what we do at Handel is
you having that information will do nothing. So now we break it down to, all right, let me introduce you to the
80% negative that talks to you constantly. And we broke it down to three Inner Dialogues, three Voices. One
is the Chicken voice and the Chicken voice. And we’ll hear yours in a moment. Your chicken voice is the
Beth Weissenberger (15m 25s):
Like you avoid anything hard, confrontational. You don’t want to hurt their feelings. You were a nice guy. Oh
my God, do you want to put it off? That’s the harder phone call. I didn’t want to deal with them for 20
minutes. I don’t have the time to listen to their products. So you would avoid. And so a Chicken might say to
you, Ooh, I should talk to Tony. Today about that thing that happened, you know, it’s his podcast today. He’s
really busy. He doesn’t have time for me. You know, Fridays are usually good because it’s the weekend and
he’ll be happy. So I’ll wait till Friday to tell him. And you’ll think that’s the greatest business strategy. And then
I’ll laugh at you and go no no , you’re a Chicken. So Tony, why don’t you tell them your chicken that you had
Dr. Anthony Orsini (16m 3s):
Yeah, I was afraid of you were going to ask me, this is so I know I wasn’t going to get out of this. I think you
can even heard you ask Gary Vaynerchuk, what his cavity was. I think that my chicken is an inability to step
back, to move forward to where I want to be. I think that’s probably the best way that I could answer it. That I
have so many projects going on, that what I really need to do is stop doing them all at, or some of them. I
don’t want to see I’m being in a physician at 90%. But other things that I wanted to do with my life. I’m doing
it at 80% because I don’t want to step back. And I think that’s my Chicken.
Beth Weissenberger (16m 39s):
So your Chicken is avoiding taking certain actions on things that your higher self that keeps telling you to do.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (16m 45s):
Yeah, my Chicken is to, to not step back,
Beth Weissenberger (16m 47s):
Step back from what what’s the Chicken say.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (16m 49s):
So I have so many different projects, right? I’m a full-time Physician, but eventually I want to teach more. I
love teaching and in doing my workshops and doing my communication and doing these learning modules, I
would need to step back from being a physician a little bit, but that would hurt me because I like doing that.
But also financially, that would hurt me temporarily too. So I think that’s my chicken it’s, you know, time to, as
they say, poop or get off the pot sometimes, you know, in Brooklyn words.
Beth Weissenberger (17m 15s):
So yeah, you are being Chicken about, Oh, no, the money. Oh, this rather than create something that could
actually make you money doing something else you loved to do. Yes. Be a chicken. All right. So that’s one
voice, everyone. The other voice that makes up the 80% is the brat, the brat and the defiant voice. It’s like
my 19 year old daughter. And I know that those of you who have teens, for sure, you know, the Brat voice,
but the funny part is Is Oh, you’re a Brat too. So the brat, the defiant voice goes like that, but I don’t want to.
You can’t make me. You’re not the boss of me. Leave me alone, drop dead and get away from me go away.
So the brat is like the one in the morning where you’re supposed to get up. You have the alarm set. You had
said to your wife the night before honey, I’m going to get up and meditate.
Beth Weissenberger (17m 57s):
So when my eyes are closed, no I’m meditating for 20 minutes. You wake up the next morning to go meditate
in your voice goes, Nah go back to sleep. And you like to go, thank you, God, like God just talked too. And
you go back to sleep. That would be the Brat just ran in your life. So do you have a Brat one Tony to tell
Dr. Anthony Orsini (18m 17s):
I think my Brat one is that I am so busy at work and doing so many different projects that I keep saying to
myself, you know, you’re having trouble sleeping, you know, you’re not exercising and you quit golf. Totally
because you took on too much. And then I go, well, but I really can’t help that because I got all this to do and
some day. So I think that would be my Brat.
Beth Weissenberger (18m 39s):
Yeah. You’ve got your Brat and a bit of weather reporter in there, which I am going to explain. So it’s so far
everyone, you got your Chicken, so you want to identify your chicken. So and then if you identify your
chicken, it’s really your higher self that just identified your lower self. That’s a good thing because the
moment your higher self met, your lower self, we can now do something about it rather than you walk around
in life thinking that your chicken is real. So the last one, so we got the chicken, we’ve got the Brat and the
third one is the subtlest of the three, but just as deadly, it’s called the weather reporter. So what’s a weather
reporter. So I’m sitting in New York city. Let me look up the weather. It is sunny and 70 degrees.
Beth Weissenberger (19m 20s):
There’s nothing I can do about that. Those are the facts, sunny. Yup. 70 degrees. So now when you are
being a weather reporter in your life, you swear, the excuse, the reason and justification as to how come you
can’t do something is as real as it, 70 degrees and sunny. So you might say to me, Beth I don’t have time to
do what I want. I don’t have time to work out. I don’t have time to meditate. And you think I don’t have time is
as real, as 70 degrees and sunny, like it’s not malleable. It’s a fact. So the reporting is all of the excuses,
justifications, and reasons you use to not be accountable for something.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (20m 3s):
I love that.
Beth Weissenberger (20m 3s):
you blame it on the reasons like you’re a victim. And you could hear the difference between the author
whose in charge. And then the weather reporter, who is like, Oh, I know I don’t have time COVID. You know,
I can’t have any fun in my life until COVID is over it. That’s a weather reporter. So then the question
becomes, all right, so you’ve now identified them. So we then don’t leave people in their Chicken Brat or
weather reporter. So with your Chicken Tony about like all, I have so many things in so many projects at all
of that, right? You need three things, everyone, before I give you the three things, let me say this, your
chicken, brat, and weather reporter are not on your team, their entire life is about getting in your way.
Beth Weissenberger (20m 44s):
Their entire life is about you not having, what you want their job is to mess you up. And they are not going
away. They are your board members. They are yours. You should meet them and have fun with them
because they talk constantly. You know, one of mine is when I have to do something scary. It reminds me
that I had ADHD and I had to take fifth grade again. So it says something like Beth Don’t forget, you were an
idiot. Beth, don’t forget you’re stupid Beth don’t forget, right? It will say that. Got it. Like in the middle of
wherever, I’m like really thank you. Yeah. So you have to be able to hear it so you can tell it to shush up,
right and back off.
Beth Weissenberger (21m 25s):
It’s not you, it’s not God. It is not you, not you. That has nothing to do with your higher self, but your higher
self must hear it. So we are now clear the Chicken, Brat weather reporter are not on your team. So then the
question becomes, how do you move from being the Chicken ,Brat, weather reporter to being an author,
because remember wherever you are an author, your happy, proud, and affective, wherever you’re a chicken
brat, weather reporter, you’re not living true to your dreams and what you want in life. So there’s three things
you need. And its like, Tony says, this is simple. This is not hard. There’s three things. You do these three
things and you will alter every chicken, brat and weather reporter.
Beth Weissenberger (22m 7s):
So the three things you need is I’ll say it and then explain them. You need a specific, measurable promise.
You need a consequence and you need someone to hold you to account. So let’s start backwards to the
person to hold you to account has to be someone who doesn’t take your crap. So like if you don’t keep the
promise and you go, honey, come on. Like with my love of my life, Steve, right? If I break a promise and I’m
like, honey, and he was like, eh it’s okay. That is not who I ever have hold me to account for my promise. All I
do is just text me my sister, my new promise or consequence and that’s the end because I’m not messing
with her. So you need someone who doesn’t do the double or nothing.
Beth Weissenberger (22m 50s):
Crap. Okay. All right. So then specific measurable promise. Why is it must be measurable is because you’re
Brat we’ll find loopholes. I’ll share one with you. So I had another NFL player whose came up with his
promise and his consequence was, he says Beth I love my wine. If you take my wine away from me, that will
kill me. And I’m like, perfect. So we made the promise and if you broke it there’d be no wine. All right. Well, if
he gets in his next session with me and he’s giggling and he, you know, I know him and I’m like, what are
you giggling about? He goes, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t have vodka. Well, you didn’t tell me you liked the
Beth Weissenberger (23m 32s):
So you will find a loophole. So it’s got to, your promises has gotta be specific and measurable. Can not just
be, I will work out because you’ll sit at your desk and lift your arms 10 times ago. I worked out right. So
specific measurable. Okay. So like with Toni, you would need a specific measurable promise with regards to,
you know, when are you starting a project, right? You would need that. All right. So then now the most
important part. So you got the promise, you got someone holding you to count is the consequence. The
consequence is the way in which you manipulate the chicken, brat and weather reporter from not running the
show because they need a manipulation because there are good.
Beth Weissenberger (24m 14s):
And they’ve been running in your life for some of you for 40 years. Right? So it needs something. So as a
consequence is going to feel like a punishment, but it’s, you’re the one that’s inventing, right? So you’re the
judge. You are the criminal, you are inventing your own. So it’s got to be something that if you don’t keep the
promise, you have to pay, that would so annoy the crap out of you, that it forces you to keep the promise.
Cause over your dead body are you paying for that? So I’ll give you an example and I’ll give you some of
mine. So one example, I have a client who at the time was 61 years old, billionaire owned a company, very
successful, except the one area.
Beth Weissenberger (24m 54s):
There were a few, but one of the areas that sucked in his life is he never worked out and his doctors were
furious with him. Like you’re going to die. Like he was overweight, his heart wasn’t good. Now watch, he had
three homes. He had gyms in each home and he had a trainer in each home. He would just pay them to do
nothing. All right, well you got the brat you hear are the brat right? and so his promise, which worked was for
every workout he did not do. And all he had to do is three a week. With the specific measurable three a week
for any one he missed he had to pay Trump $10,000. and this for a year to go when and Trump was first
Beth Weissenberger (25m 37s):
Ask me how that man’s health is fabulous. Great, lost the weight he works out. He never had to pay Trump
the $10,000. Now that’s obviously being a billionaire. So then what do you do inside if not right. So money.
$10 bills out your car window, throwing them to the street, not to the homeless, not to make you feel better
drop it. That would be annoying. You know, anyone of your vices like my sister or one of my sisters loves her
TV shows. And so if she breaks a promise, whatever current TV show she’s in, she loses the next episode
and never gets to watch it. Right? Take your liquor away, take your weed away.
Beth Weissenberger (26m 17s):
You’re coming up with something, your golf or anything that would annoy you. That’s what you got to do. And
then you have to have someone to hold you to count. And I promise you, if you do that today, you will alter
your life in that area done.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (26m 28s):
love that. Now you got to find somebody in your life is willing to be tough. I got a beautiful, very sweet wife.
She’s not going to be my,
Beth Weissenberger (26m 36s):
You pick out one of your nurses who would like to talk with you. You pick another doctor who would enjoy the
giddiness of taking your money, right? Like try to find someone who will do it.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (26m 46s):
It sounds like a college roommate. Who’s very quick to tell me I’m flawed in every way. So that’s, that’s what
guys do to each other. So that sounds great. Yes. So that’s fantastic. But you know, for that person who’s
listening right now, there is going, Oh my God, this speaks to me. Beth then I need to do this right away. This
is where the inner U comes to. Like, how do they say I need help? Beth
Beth Weissenberger (27m 11s):
Yeah. So one of the things that we have, so about two years ago, when we were in, remember I’m the
president of the corporate division. So we go into corporations and we’re expensive. So, you know, you get
the top, let’s call it like the 50 people, right? Who are going to get the one-on-one coaching, get the
workshop’s, you know, at the top C-suite. So then the question became, what are you doing for my other 300
people in my other 500 people? How come, you know, I don’t want to spend that kind of money on them.
And so that’s when we went, we should have an online coaching program. We could do that. We could
charge, we could give it out in bulk. And so that’s where we invented. We have innerU student where
students do that.
Beth Weissenberger (27m 52s):
We have innerU Love to handle your love life. We have IinnerU Life for your whole life. And we have innerU
Career that’s for inside of us. We sell them in bulk, inside a corporation’s or individual. My sister does the
principal. Chicken, Brat weather reporter has someone giving an example. Whether one of our clients. And
one of our coaches gives you the homework gives you answers to questions, the most common questions.
And you’ve got 12 modules. That’ll take you about six months, which is a coaching program to do it on your
own in your home. You get one free coaching session that you get one private coaching call that comes with
it. And then you have access to any one of our masterclasses.
Beth Weissenberger (28m 35s):
And you have that. It’s a lifetime subscription.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (28m 38s):
Yeah. So it’s really bringing in that corporate service that you give to the individual who said, I need help.
And I don’t have that much money. And it can’t be that bad because you are, you’re offering it to the
Beth Weissenberger (28m 49s):
Fordham just dropped it to I think a hundred students. Yes. So colleges are now going to start doing that. It
just makes the difference right for you too. What I mean? Hi, we’re in the middle of COVID and you’re
working from home. When this is to take care of you. And if you do, there’s two ways to do it because it’s a
beast. You can just listen to it. Don’t do any of the homework, just listen to it. And it will change your life. If
you do the homework, which is a beast, because it’s about 30 minutes of listening and then it could be, you
know, an hour and a half of homework plus, right? If you do the homework, you’re life will be radically
different in six months, like altered, life altered those of you listening.
Beth Weissenberger (29m 29s):
We have a coupon so you can get innerU career? That’s usually $650. You can get it for half off use Difficult
Conversations. If you go on to our website, you’ll see innerU Career put in Difficult Conversations get it for
Dr. Anthony Orsini (29m 44s):
Fantastic. See if it does pay to listen to this podcast. So that’s amazing that you were able to do this Your I
can tell you. I know, I see your face in the audience. Doesn’t see your face. You loved this stuff. You breathe
it. This is, this is fun for you. And people say that about me. I just know I heard you interview. I think you ask
Gary Vaynerchuk what his cavity was. And he said I wanted it to avoid conflict. I think that was what his was.
And then I thought to myself boy, and how different people are ’cause I would say that was one of my strong
points because that’s what I teach. I teach her to go through conflict resolution. And so everybody’s different,
but everybody, there was no one in the world. It, it doesn’t have a chicken and a brat.
Beth Weissenberger (30m 24s):
Well, I’m more bratty than I am chicken. Some people are more chicken than they are Brat so you’ll find out
where you land in it. But we all have what sucks about us, right? We all have our dark side. We all have our
bad traits. We all have what doesn’t work about us. And one of my favorite things that I have people do is to
ask two questions to your spouses and partners too, your children. And I did this with my daughter when
max was six and a half years old, the two questions are what sucks about me. And when I do that, how does
it make you feel? So I’ll never forget. You know, I know what sucks about me when Arman and I got divorced
and we have a lovely divorce.
Beth Weissenberger (31m 7s):
We’re dear friends. This is my daughter’s daddy. I knew when he left, he was the fun one. I was, I am not fun
back then. So this is now a year. I know this is why we got divorced. So this is like 8 plus years ago, almost
10 years ago. And Max was nine years old and I sit with her and I’m like, Maxi, is mommy any fun? I knew
the answer. He was like, mommy, you are not fun. And she laughed. And I laughed. Now, if that’s all the
conversation was that would have done nothing about it was, I then said, Maxi, how does that make you feel
when mommy is not any fun?
Beth Weissenberger (31m 49s):
And she burst out hysterical, crying. So, and when she could breathe again, she said that you never want to
play with me. That struck my heart, like a sword through my heart. And that was the end. I made a promise
and a consequence. I kept the promise. I didn’t ever have to pay the consequences. And I altered my
fun-ness for my daughter because I was not going down, having her think that I didn’t want to play with her.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (32m 15s):
And that’s a great example, right?
Beth Weissenberger (32m 17s):
So it, it, it behooves all of us are the people that work for you or your loved ones, your children, your spouse.
I know you’re not gonna want to, but go ask them, listen, we have three more months left in the year. I want
to be a better leader, a better mother, a better wife, a better girlfriend, whatever it is. And I want to know from
you, what sucks about me and you’re not in trouble. I won’t defend. I won’t answer you. Write it down. What
sucked. And when you tell me what sucks, tell me how it makes you feel that I do that. That’s the most
important thing is how it makes them feel. Because they make stuff up. You have no idea. And then after
they tell you to make a promise and a consequences, cut it out, right?
Beth Weissenberger (32m 58s):
’cause you’re not proud of that behavior. You don’t want to be that human. You think I really want to be mean
to the love of my life. I know, Oh my God. But from time to time, I had that bad trait. I got hurt. I’ll go like that.
And then in a matter of five minutes or less, it’s like, Oh my God, I was just all, let’s not, you know, like fix it
because that’s not who I want to be. That’s not who any of us want to be, but we all have our bad traits. And
so we teach you how to human better.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (33m 28s):
Fantastic. And you know, this podcast is about learning how to navigate through those difficult conversations
in your life. And you certainly inspired us to be better people. That’s my first promise to the audience. And
boy, we learned how to navigate those difficult conversations with ourselves and with each other. And I think
one of the most important thing is ourselves. We need to have more of those conversations and stop
avoiding them. So I must say I was worried that you would be asking me, I didn’t expect to be revealing stuff
about myself. So now my audience knows about my chicken and a hopefully a we’ll see what happens is
about that. I think that was really very informative. I’ve loved this episode. And I think that Handel Group is
doing amazing things that are just getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (34m 9s):
And I’m just so happy to get to know you. And so honored that you were on this podcast. Thank you so
Beth Weissenberger (34m 16s):
Absolutely. And everyone just go on to our website. If you don’t want to buy anything, just get the newsletter.
We ou, blogs are hysterical because we just keep telling on ourselves, write to make it easier for you to own
your dark side.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (34m 28s):
Yeah. So that’s the Handel group.com, right?
Beth Weissenberger (34m 29s):
Well, Group H a N D E L. It’s our maiden name. Handel group.com. Go enjoy it. There’s some fun stuff on
there. I’m and we would love to have you join our newsletter.
Dr. Anthony Orsini (34m 41s):
That’s fantastic. And so contact Beth. We’ll put this all in the show notes. If you enjoyed this podcast, please
go ahead and hit subscribe. It’s available on every platform. And if you want to reach me it’s
firstname.lastname@example.org that’s Dr Orsini at the Orsini Way.com. Then we’ll put that all in the show notes.
So thanks again so much. I really appreciate it.
Beth Weissenberger (35m 4s):
Thank you everybody for listening.
Announcer (35m 5s):
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Dr. Anthony Orsini
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